le-coffee-witch:

the-fox-jawed-cryptid:

jasper-pagan-witch:

le-coffee-witch:

thatsagiicrab:

le-coffee-witch:

jasper-pagan-witch:

le-coffee-witch:

jasper-pagan-witch:

phoibos-devotee-deactivated2022:

le-coffee-witch:

jasper-pagan-witch:

le-coffee-witch:

jasper-pagan-witch:

Honestly, putting the microwave tea aside for a moment, the fact that I’ve made soup on a toaster should be reason enough to permanently ban me from the kitchen.

Listen my sweet plato-spouse. Just because you microwave tea and can’t cook doesn’t change the way I feel about you. I will happily cook for you because you can’t feed or fend for yourself.

Image description begin: Tags that read “I once had to walk Jasper through how to make rice while in video call”. End image description.

Unfortunately this is 100% true.

They made it in the microwave…

Okay. Hold on.

I’ve heard of tea in the microwave, but I’ve never heard of rice in the microwave???

Was it like. Rice that was meant to go in a microwave? Or??? How does one do that?

I regret to inform you that there are instructions on the box of the rice my family uses specifically for putting it in the microwave.

THERE’S ALSO INSTRUCTIONS ON HOW TO INGEST ESSENTIAL OILS! DOESN’T MEAN YOU SHOULD DO IT!

NEXT YOU’RE GOING TO TELL ME THAT MILK GOES IN THE OVEN!

I WOULD NOT TELL YOU THAT! WTF ARE YOU DOING TO YOUR MILK??? TO WARM MILK IT GOES ON THE STOVE! MUCH LIKE YOUR TEA SHOULD BE HEATED!

Ok but how did they manage to make soup in a toaster??????

They didn’t manage…

It was still lukewarm 😦

Milk should be COLD!

YOU HAVE TO HEAT MILK FOR HOT CHOCOLATE I’VE BEEN OVER THIS!

-points a spoon at you- Don’t pick a fight you ain’t gonna finish!

Just use water for your hot cocoa. Warm milk is gross!

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